It would appear I've broken my therapist.
I've never met a more genuinely positive and enthusiastic-about-life person.
She seems to have taken a conscious step away from me. Though I understand, there's a part of me that feels betrayed. It's hard not to. Emotions aren't entirely rational beings.
Simply put; I'm bummed out. She was the only person who gave me unwavering support, and never stopped believing that I could reach my goals. The enthusiasm was irritating in various ways but I appreciated it nonetheless.
A therapist is not meant to fill the gaps that family and friends have left you with. Still, when they are THE ONLY person who offers you support and kindness takes a step back it is hard not to be keenly aware of the wide-open emptiness of the seemingly endless plains that surround you.
I've tried to find people I could rely on to be there. I was earnest, and vulnerable. I can't say it's ever really worked out. Though I learned a lot in the process; about relationships, about people, and about myself. Not to mention I met some amazing unforgettable people. It has been quite the journey. I suppose the next journey I take will, in a sense, be easier if I expect to take it alone, and not expect to meet any travel companions along the way.
